First, Love Yourself!

Over the past few months, I've really started to notice changes in the way I view myself. I've started to become very critical and I constantly compare where I am at in my life versus where others are in theirs. I try and tell myself that I need to focus on my life and not worry about what others are doing with theirs, but I've really struggled to feel content. At first I tried to blame it on social media and the negative influence it has had on me, and maybe that is part of it. But even as I took a break from social media I still felt like there was just something that wasn't right. The longer I've struggled with this, and the more that I've prayed to be content with my life the more I've realized that I've been trying to change things around me and change myself to be like those who I've viewed as "better than me" rather than changing my attitude and the way the I think about myself. I've realized now that before I can be content with things in my life, I have to be content with myself. That's definitely not something that comes easy for me, but it's something I want to work on. Thinking about this led me to a quote by Thomas S. Monson. 

"We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude."

I want to make a goal today to have a better attitude this week. And along with that, I want to strive to be able to genuinely LOVE myself! I want to be able to love myself for ME! Not for how much money I have, what kind of car I drive, what clothes I wear, or even how many followers/friends I have on social media. This week I'm going to take time out of everyday to look into the mirror and tell myself "You are BEAUTIFUL and I love you" Sounds cheesy, but if I can look myself in the eye and tell myself that enough times I will start to believe it! 

Let's all strive to LOVE ourselves first! Because if we can love ourselves for who we really, are then it won't matter what any one else thinks because we will already know how great we are regardless. 

"Remember the worth of souls is GREAT in the sight of God;"

D&C 18:10

Learning to Dance in the Rain :)

Everybody has off days right? Days where they start out pretty good, but then it seems like everything that could go wrong, does. That's the kind of day I had during finals week last week. It really did start out pretty good. I presented a project that I got a 93% on, I got an email saying that I got hired to work on campus, things like that. But then later that evening when I got home and Eric left for work, I realized our internet had been shut off, I called and they wouldn't let me speak to a representative, I had to actually put on clothes again so I could walk to campus just to do homework that I didn't want to do anyway. Rough, huh? Haha, now that I'm typing this it sounds like it was more just a problem with the attitude I was having than anything. In my mind though, it felt like that day couldn't have possibly gotten any worse! I was hanging on campus when the lights in the building I was in shut off, so I assumed that was my cue to go home. I packed my stuff up and was getting ready to leave when I realized it was raining! Normally I get upset when it rains, but for some reason it was the one thing all day that seemed to go right. I put my headphones in, blasted some Taylor Swift "Sparks Fly", and literally started dancing in the rain on my way home. At that moment I realized how silly I had been all day! I need to learn to find joy in every little moment just like I was able to find joy by dancing in the rain! I'm definitely not one to talk when it comes to trying to change your attitude on a bad day, but there are a few things that I have been working on remembering when I have a bad day.

1. Nobody's Perfect - I think especially when it comes to social media, it is so important to remember that nobody is perfect, and everybody has bad days. Even when it seems like some people are just so perfect, I try to remember that of course everyone is going to choose to post the "perfect" moments of their life and not every moment. So when you're having an off day just remember you're not the only one. 
2. It's a Bad Day, not a Bad Life - "The sun will come out, TOMORROW!" I love the fact that life allows you to have a fresh start so often. Every single morning you have a whole new day to make that day how you want to make it. Even though you may be having a bad day you always have the next day to start fresh and MAKE that day what YOU want it to be. Only you can determine what your destiny will be. 
3. Smile! - Even if you're not in the mood to smile, smile until you feel like smiling! It works I promise. I don't really like to use the quote "Fake it til you make it", but that basically what I'm suggesting haha. 
4. Stay Positive - You can choose to look at the glass half full, or half empty. Even in the worse circumstances you can ALWAYS find something positive if you look hard enough. Be the person that is always pointing out the good in crappy situations! It will give you a better outlook on life, and in the long run you will be happier! 

By all means me posting this does NOT mean I have my life together, or that I have completely figured out how to be happy all the time. I really don't think everyone can be happy ALL the time. We have to experience some awful things to be able to recognize all the good we actually have all around us in our lives! 

The Day I Said Yes

I've been reminiscing on the day I got engaged, and I realized I don't think I've ever written down the story! I figured this would be the perfect first official blog post to write about!

June 22, 2014:

The thought of getting married honestly always scared me. I knew eventually it would happen, but never in a million years would I ever thought I'd be engaged at age 18! It was a Sunday, one that I thought would be like any other Sunday. I decided I really wanted to make dinner for my boyfriend, Eric. I made country fried chicken, mashed potatoes with homemade gravy, and warmed up some green beans. I was so proud of myself because I usually suck at cooking, and hate it too. I thought it was delicious, but Eric didn't eat much and kind of just played with it for most of the time so I figured maybe it wasn't as great as I thought it was. After we ate dinner he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. We started walking up towards our college campus and he pulled out a piece of paper with 100 hand written reasons why he loved me. This is when I started to realize this wasn't the normal Sunday walk. Be prepared for a really long list! Or just scroll past it and keep on reading. :)

100 Reasons Why I Love You

1. Your Smile
2. Your Laugh
3. Your Ability To Forgive
4. Your Hugs
5. Your Kisses
6. Your Beautiful Blue Eyes
7. Your Testimony of the Gospel
8. Your Selfless Service
9. Your Faith
10. Your Diligence
11. Your Love
12. Your Intelligence
13. Your Example
14. Your Obedience
15. Your Sacrifice
16. Your Endurance
17. Because You're a Cuddle Bug
18. You like to fish
19. Your Patience
20. Your Love for Kids
21. Your Determination 
22. (He skipped 22, haha I never noticed)
23. Your willingness to put up with me
24. Your Work Ethic
25. Your Kindness
26. Your ability to put up with people (This one isn't true haha)
27. That you like to play solitaire
28. You will go on a hike even when you're sore
29. That you listen
30. Your ability to comfort 
31. That you remember things
32. You don't mind getting dirty 
33. Your Honesty 
34. Your Boldness
35. The good influence you are on others
36. You want to get married in the temple
37. You're Humble 
38. Your desire to have the spirit
39. Your love for Heavenly Father
40. Your testimony in the Atonement
41. You honor your Father and Mother
42. Your love for families
43. You're not afraid to start something new
44. The way you hold my hand
45. The hope that you give me
46. The fact that you're ticklish 
47. You search the scriptures
48. You Pray
49. Your love of Double Stuffed Oreos
50. You don't mind mosquito bites
51. Your driving skills 
52. Your soccer skills
53. Your Happiness 
54. You like riding a dirt bike with me
55. The way you love your siblings 
56. Your Communication Skills
57. Your Nose
58. You don't mind walking around barefoot
59. Your ability to learn
60. Your Commitment
61. The way your hair blows in the wind
62. The way you sing 
63. Your Jokes
64. You don't mind my toe thumbs ;)
65. You let me clip your toes nails
66. Your ability to pick out what kind of  deodorant I wear
67. Your Shooting Skills
68. You like playing tennis with me
69. The gifts you give me
70.  Your handwriting 
71. The notes that you write me
72. You're Virtuous
73. When you steal my hat
74. You be yourself
75. Your Knowledge 
76. Your Amazing Personality 
77. Your Ears
78. Your Lips
79. Your Freckles 
80. Your willingness to make me food
81. You choose the right
82. You have a current temple recommend 
83. Your desire to follow the spirit 
84. You let me kiss your forehead (Who wouldn't)
85. You're so apologetic
86. You don't judge me for how I act
87. You're a good example to my sisters (They're more of an example to me)
88. Your Spiritual Strength
89. Your attitude about life
90. The jokes you make 
91. You're Competitive
92. The way you wrinkle your nose
93. Your Classy Outfits
94. You're focused on your goals
95. Your Meekness
96. The good feelings I get when I'm with you
97. When you sleep in - "That's my kind of woman!" 
98. You don't mind wearing camouflage 
99. The way you cry
100. Your desire to be with me forever 

Sorry really long list! Haha but it's cute, right? Where was I? Oh yeah! So after he had me pretty much to tears after reading that, we got to the gardens on campus where we walked around for a while. We eventually made our way to this gazebo where we sat down and continued to talk some more (at this point I figured if he was going to propose he would've done it already). We were getting ready to leave and as we stood up, he went down on one knee. "Jamie Lynn Breitweiser, will you marry me." I swear I had been waiting my whole life for the day that I would hear those words come out of someones mouth, but when they did I couldn't believe it. Everything seemed to slow down and my head was spinning. I'm pretty sure I was saying, "NO, NO!" in unbelief as I was nodding my head yes super fast! The word "YES!" eventually came to me once I realized this wasn't a dream. I don't think my heart has pumped blood so fast in my life. But even though I couldn't believe that this was really happening, I have never been so sure of anything in my whole life. I was destine to marry Eric Lyle VanEvery, and the rest is history. :)

Starting A Blog...

I've always wanted to start a blog. More just for me than anything else. I don't feel like I've put enough time into documenting my life. I hate had writing in journals so I figure... Hey, why not start a blog! I can't promise I'll be any good at writing (my creative writing skills are lacking), but I think it's important for me to write down my experiences, emotions, and ambitions. So, here goes nothing! Bare with me as I work out all the quirks of my writing. Hopefully I'll be able to inspire someone somewhere, and more importantly be able to have a source for my current and future family and friends to learn a little bit more about me! :)